Fatter at Home

Here in California, we’ve been ordered to not go out unless you need groceries or go for a walk. And when you walk, you have to avoid people. Try to pretend you’re in a hamster wheel, basically. It’s going to be a huge lifestyle change for a whole lot of people.

I’ve been performing this civic duty. Just before the order hit, I came down with hay fever. Yeah, yeah, I know. It might be COVID 19. I’ve been treating it as if it has been. But I have this allergy party every year (except for last year, which I credit to nasal spray) and the symptoms are all too familiar. Itchy eyes? Yup. Soul crushing full body coughing in the morning? Unfortunately, yes. I wonder what my neighbors think. Weird, pale yellow phlegm? Check. Aches? Yeah, a little. Fever? Nope. Not even a little. And believe me, I’ve been checking. We got a thermometer recently. It looks kind of like a type 2 phaser from Star Trek: TNG. I’ve been phasering myself right between my eyebrows everyday, three times a day.

The good news is, I’m past the nasty ass cough. Feeling pretty much back to normal. Maybe self-quarantining is making my recovery faster since I’m not walking to the market, going to practice, or even spending any time outside.

But I’ve been thinking that my lifestyle hasn’t really changed much. I’m a work at coffee shop author that’s become a work at home author. Ever since I left the video games industry I’ve tried my damnedest to keep costs low. Also, I’m fat. So one of the obvious places to save money and cut calories is eating out. For years now I’ve been improving my culinary abilities, and I think I’m better. I certainly don’t think I’d qualify to go on Worst Cooks in America. (It’s a fun show, BTW.) Point being, when safer at home started, I was already doing most of what I need to do at home. Cooking and eating, exercise (thanks Nintendo), and now trying to work in my distracting home environment.

So backtrack to a few days ago. I’m coughing, my body aches, I’m trying unsuccessfully to get work done, and the news is on all day. I caught myself eating stuff for no reason than it was something to do. Yikes. I wonder how many other people might be lazing around their house with their thirty bags of cheesy puffs, a freezer full of frozen pizza, and enough canned goods to be an excellent house in a month for zombie apocalypse survivors to raid, might be absentmindedly stuffing their faces to keep busy?

If we stay inside for a month, living the fallout shelter life, are we going to put on like fifteen pounds?

Don’t let yourselves go people. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Stay safe and take care of each other.

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